Wow….where do I begin. These past couple of days I’ve been through a personal nutritional whirlwind. I almost don’t want to share but I have to because it may help someone. So, I had a lot to do this weekend: birthday party, bridal shower, household duties, church, errands etc. Now in the past, this never meant anything as far as my eating lifestyle but boy this weekend really made me reflect. So I’ve been a vegan for about 8 months now and really have had no cravings, slip ups, backslides, or anything….until this weekend. Let me summarize (I’m scared)..okay here it goes:
· Friday- Busboys and Poets- my favorite restaurant- all vegan food not the healthiest but was good. Mind you I ate when I was NOT hungry( a no no in my book).
· Saturday- God Daughter’s birthday party- the menu: salad (I could eat), potato salad, tuna salad, pizza, chicken shish kabobs, and cake.
o For some reason all of the sudden I started craving the potato salad, tuna salad, and pizza BAD. I prayed, ate the salad and put a piece of veggie pizza on a plate to the side and had an internal battle that the pizza finally won. I was an instant VEGETARIAN!!! WHAT AM I THINKING? What will others think?
o Then I went to a bridal shower and snuck a mac and cheese puff thingy that everyone was raving about.
§ Now I’m scared that I may get sick or someone will think differently of me.
§ Did anyone see me do it? I hope they don’t think differently of me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!!??!
The rest of the days involved cheez it’s, and salt and vinegar potato chips (vegan but not good).
So of course I’ve been reflecting, praying, and trying to figure out what is going on with me and I have come to this:
I don’t feel guilty and I’m wondering why which leads me to the below numbers.
1. Hmmm I am not perfect, I don’t always have to eat perfectly, and I do slip up even to the point of not being a true vegan occasionally (Sorry Peta).
2. Maybe this will help others who feel like they can’t stay the course understand that even the strictest, most self-controlled nutritionist can get off course temporarily.
3. I cannot allow what I think others will think to dictate what I eat or the health decisions I make because my mishaps might free someone else.
4. Another thing I noticed is I put too much pressure on myself- I went from meat eater straight to veganism. I didn’t even consider becoming a vegetarian or pescetarian (fish eater) and now I’m trying to be a raw vegan. It’s too much, I need to slow down!
5. Just like I tell others, I need to take things one step at a time and allow myself to fully get used to one thing. Not that I think I will turn back but this does help in case I have any more slip ups and it also helped when I packed my lunch today. I didn’t just try to pack fruit and veggies with no sauce, dressing etc. (Long story that’s another blog). That’s how I fell.
In conclusion, I do still consider myself a vegan (majority raw) I don’t plan on turning back but there may be times that you see me indulge if and when this ever happens again.
There is a scripture that talks about pressing towards the mark. I can honestly equate that to this health journey I’m on as we speak. I will continue to press, I may fall but I will get right back on and share with all of you what’s happening along the way. In other words practice doesn’t always mean it’s perfect.
Hope this helps someone!!
